ADHD, Maybe? How Counselling Can Empower Women Who Are Wondering

More and more women are asking themselves a question they may never have voiced before: “Could I have ADHD?” Not because they fit the stereotype of being disruptive or impulsive, but because they’ve spent years feeling overwhelmed, scattered, or exhausted from trying to keep up with life’s demands. And this can feel magnified on reaching menopause.

If you’re one of those women, you’re far from alone. Counselling can be a powerful place to explore that question with clarity and compassion.

Why are so many women asking “ADHD, Maybe?”

ADHD in women has been historically under-recognised. Research suggests that up to 75% of girls with ADHD are missed in childhood. This is often because their symptoms present more internally — daydreaming, anxiety, perfectionism — rather than outward hyperactivity (NICE, 2018; Quinn & Madhoo, 2014).

By adulthood, many women report:

·       Chronic overwhelm from juggling work, home, and emotional labour

·       Perfectionism that hides deeper struggles

·       Burnout from constantly compensating

·       A sense of being “different” without knowing why

·       Feeling very sensitive to criticism, real or imagined

A 2020 study found that women are diagnosed with ADHD an average of 5–10 years later than men, often after reaching breaking point (UK Adult ADHD Network, 2020).

Counselling doesn’t diagnose ADHD — but it does offer a safe, grounded space to explore these patterns without judgement.

How Counselling Supports Women Who Are Wondering About ADHD

Understanding Patterns Without Shame

Many women have spent years labelling themselves as “lazy,” “messy,” or “too sensitive.” Counselling helps untangle these beliefs and look at behaviours through a kinder, more informed lens.

Rewriting the Internal Story

Women with undiagnosed ADHD often internalise blame. It can lead to anxiety and depression. Counselling helps shift the narrative from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What’s going on for me?” That shift alone can be deeply empowering.

Exploring Strengths and Identity

Whether ADHD is part of your story or not, counselling helps you explore and understand:

·       What energises you

·       What drains you

·       Where your natural strengths lie

This is especially important because research shows that women with ADHD often develop strong empathy, creativity, and problem‑solving skills as part of their coping strategies (Hinshaw, 2021).

Building Practical, Personalised Strategies

Counselling can support you in developing tools for:

·       Managing overwhelm

·       Improving focus

·       Setting boundaries

·       Reducing emotional overload

These strategies are helpful regardless of whether you pursue a formal assessment. It puts you back in control.

Navigating the Assessment Journey

Counselling can support your decision of whether or not to seek an ADHD assessment. If you decide on assessment, counselling can help you:

·       Prepare for appointments

·       Process emotions that come up

·       Understand what a diagnosis can and cannot offer

It’s not a replacement for medical evaluation, but it can make the process feel far less daunting and help you feel in control of the journey.

The Empowerment That Comes From Clarity

For many women, the most powerful part of this journey isn’t the diagnosis — it’s the relief of finally understanding themselves with compassion.

Counselling can help you:

·       Trust your own experiences

·       Let go of shame

·       Build healthier coping strategies

·       Create a life that works with your brain, not against it

Whether ADHD is part of your story or not, you deserve support that honours your lived experience.

Ready to Explore This Gently and Thoughtfully?

If you’re wondering about ADHD and would like a supportive space to explore, you can reach out through the contact page at anitamaidmentcounselling.com/contact.

References

·       National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE). (2018). Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: diagnosis and management.

·       Quinn, P., & Madhoo, M. (2014). A Review of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Women and Girls.

·       Hinshaw, S. (2021). ADHD in Women: Understanding the overlooked experience.